Two weeks before my 16-year-old son passed away, I was asked to sing a musical number in church. This was the song, “Thy Will Be Done” that I sang. I was inspired to write it just a couple months before. It was the perfect song to go with that meeting, and I assumed that was the reason for writing it.
Afterwards, a friend asked for a copy of the song and I decided to make a recording and video so others could hear it as well. I was working on this recording and video, singing and listening to it over and over again, when Joshua got sick and needed to go to the hospital. As I drove up to Primary Children’s, I kept this song on repeat as I drove. It helped me deal with all the difficult emotions I was going through as we didn’t know what was going to happen.
It felt like there were many miracles through this experience, including getting to be with Joshua in that last week before he died. We didn’t have a great relationship before then, and it had been a couple years since we had really spent good time together. It was a tender mercy to be there and spend so much time with him. Though he had to have a second open heart surgery to replace his heart valve, on Memorial Day things were looking wonderful. It seemed all our prayers had worked and Joshua was being prepped to go into a recovery room. I was so grateful. The next day however, things took a turn for the worst, Joshua suffered a massive stroke and I could see the hopelessness in the doctors faces, as I continued to pray for a miracle. I added pictures to this video and replaced some with pictures of Joshua. This song had become personal, and I wanted Joshua to see it before i shared it with the world. I still expected him to have a full recovery.
Unfortunately, that was not God’s will. And he passed on June 2nd, 2021. This song continued to help me though this difficult trial. Though I didn’t get the miracle in having Joshua live, there were tons of miracles that did happen that brought us great comfort. One of these was having Joshua able to donate organs to provide miracles for others that were also praying at the same time. I am so glad he was able to help them. I hope this song will bring comfort to you as well.
Sometimes it’s all we can do to trust in God and in His will. I believe Josh is happy and in a better place. I know I will see Joshua again, and until then, he is a guardian angel on the other side, giving comfort and serving whatever Mission God felt he needed to leave early for. Until we meet again. Love you Josh!
