To write or not to write

Is it possible to not be supposed to write a song?

For over three weeks, I’ve been trying to write a song that for some reason hasn’t wanted to be written. It’s interesting to me, because though I can’t always guarantee how long it will take me, (a couple of hours to a couple of weeks!) I’ve usually been able to write a song with the Lord’s help.

This time, however, I’ve been amazed at how I haven’t been able to write a song. Every time I’ve tried to find a quiet time, baby wakes up hungry, child #1 needs something, followed by child #2, #3 (you get the idea…). It hasn’t been for a lack of trying, but because of normal every day, “mom” stuff. It even happened after I would pray fervently for the Lord’s help. I tried to give him many opportunities to help me, but it never seemed to work out. This isn’t the way it usually goes, and I started to wonder if maybe I wasn’t supposed to write the song.

Not wanting to misinterpret the spirit. I gave it one more shot. On Saturday morning, it was quiet, and I really thought that I wouldn’t be interrupted. If the Lord wanted me to write this song, it seemed like a good time. I prayed that God would help me to use this time effectively and that I would have His spirit to guide me. I also prayed that if I was NOT supposed to write it, that I could just know, in some plain way that I could recognize, so I could know His will, and stop worrying about it.

It wasn’t 5 minutes before my older son came down the stairs and said, “Mom, Josh just cracked his head open on the table and he’s bleeding all over his head!”

Thankfully, Josh was okay. He had a small cut on the back of his head that was bleeding a lot. It didn’t swell up, and he didn’t need stitches, but I definitely felt like I’d gotten my answer.

Since that time, (a week ago) I have felt nothing but peace. I feel bad for those that were hoping I would write the song, and the girls that were excited to sing it. But for some reason, I wasn’t supposed to write this one. Atleast that’s how I’m feeling about it. Instead of the song I was going to write, the girls are going to sing “My Story” from “My Turn on Earth”. It’s absolutely perfect, and I’ve reflected on the words more than once as I’ve thought through the whole experience…

I’m the one that writes my own story,
I decide the person I’ll be
What goes in the plot, and what will not
is pretty much up to me….

…This book of mine is very important,
and so someone is waiting right there
to help with my story, He’s been there before me
and always as close as a prayer…

I could have written a song. I had a lot of random ideas that I could have put together, but I didn’t feel good about any of them. Sometimes I think maybe even though we try to do what the Lord wants us to do, even though the task seems like the right thing, God knows what is needed better than we do. It’s not that we’re not getting the inspiration, but maybe it’s better left undone?

Anyway, thought I’d share. Hopefully another song will come soon, but for now, this question was not to write!